From Caroline Astell-Burt
(From Jewish Study Bible)
A They hate the arbiter in the gate
And detest him whose plea is just
B Because you impose tax on the poor
And exact from him a levy of grain.
C You have built houses of hewn stone
But you shall not live in them
C You have planted delightful vineyards
But shall not drink their wine.
B I have noted how many are your crimes
And countless your sins
A You enemies of the righteous ,You takers of bribes
You who subvert in the gate The cause of the needy!
The apparent imbalance in the length of A and A’ is an artefact of translation. According to the Biblehub literal the first line of A’ is just four Hebrew words, and the second line, just three. In translation it goes –
“Afflicting [the just], taking bribes
[And the poor] [at the gate] diverting”
It suits the rhythm so much better – but can it be altered?
When we find the chiasma can we mix translations if we reference them clearly?
The issue we all need to focus on is the accuracy of the translation. Where it departs from a word for word rendering we may lose sense and sometimes it obscures the literary pattern. Clear labelling is the key as you suggest.
Does this mean we need to be translating from the Hebrew ourselves?
Most of us are not skilled to translate ourselves. What we can do with the tools avaiable is check how a particualr word is used in scripture to get a good sense of its meaning. All transaltions have inherent biases and styles, so its good to compare. I also find looking at the literal interlinear versions helpful for word order and chaismus.